I love you.
I care for you.
I fucked you when you ask…
And yet I feel trapped.
Trapped in this circular pattern.
Giving my all, but all isn’t given back.
I’m conflicted and confused
I feel used and abused.
Taken lightly is the term
I say a lot, but you hear empty words.
How do you communicate with the deaf?
How can I force you to comprehend what I meant?
I feel obliged like I’m in debt.
Maybe it would be easier if I left.
But stupidly, I remain
Nonreciprocal, you don’t change
But you create expectations for me all the same.
Who’s to blame?
My self-esteem?
My self-worth?
Stupidly, I love you til I hurt,
So I’m trapped.
Winning my battles with great lost in war.
You take my emotions lightly, but what if I did the same to yours?
Would I still be yours?
If I gave you what you gave me, would you feel like a toy?
Just because I handle rejection with great poise, doesn’t mean I don’t feel.
This numbness is real.
And honestly, I don’t know how to deal.
Everything that once made sense is now surreal.
But until I find the courage to stop,
I guess I’ll forever be trapped
